If you’re allergic to public transport stories….look away now.

The problem with having bus companies running railways is that there is no demarcation with ‘competition’. Bus companies believe in buses first and foremost and therefore at the least excuse will substitute a bus for a train, regardless of the circumstances.

A second problem is the inability of the TOCs (Train Operating Companies) and National Rail Enquiries to supply any sort of coherent information at a national level. One of the great strengths of the railway system is the standardisation across the country and the fact that there is really a single system of tracks, regardless of the absurd bureaucratic manouveres of government to make the running as complicated as possible.

Today as an example.

I boarded the 9.35 ‘Cross Country’ (once Virgin rail - really, who in their right mind would let Richard Branson take them into space? He can’t run a railway that would take anyone easily from Crewe to Manchester). Just before the train left the station, an announcement was made that the train would ‘not stop at Doncaster’. Which was a bit annoying as the 9.30 east coast mainline (now National Express, until recently GNER - the tender process was run over a Christmas holiday period and was just within the absolute MINIMUM of EC procurement rules) was just leaving. Now don’t ask why, but that WAS going to stop at Doncaster.

Before York I asked the guard the options. Number 1 - get off at York and wait an hour and might get to Lincoln at 1.50pm. Option 2 - stay on the train to Sheffield and get the 11.44 to Gainsborough; where there would be a ‘replacemement bus service’. I opted for option 2 but knew deep down inside this was a terrible mistake. From hitch hiking days I know that it’s always best to slowly move towards ultimate destination. NEVER travel in the opposite direction, even for a short distance.

So then I find myself in Sheffield, on a train that’s late, but I still have time to get on the 11.44 - except that turns up at 12.06 (these precise times are important). And that gets to Gainsborugh Lea Road and 13.03. And the ‘connecting bus to Lincoln’ has left at 12.45 - and the next one will be at 13.45. Although there were three buses there - but all on their break. I don’t have a problem with that - but surely it could have been organised a bit better?

Now at every stage I tried to get any sense out of anyone on ‘National Rail Enquiries’ I got nothing but wrong and conflicting information. Personally I find the attitude of ‘thank you for your patience’ (which they extract) and ‘I’m sorry sir…’ really freaking irritating. I would rather surly customer service but trains that ran to some sort of timetable.

I wondered, really did wonder whether GPS and mobile phones are used in the rail network, to at least try and put things right when they go so wrong. It wasn’t just my journeys; every station I went to today was running late trains and that included Newcastle, Sheffield and Newark Northgate.

But what’s the purpose of this minute detail? Well, partly if ‘national rail’ or WHOEVER RUNS THE FREAKING RAILWAYS ever does a google search on RAIL COMPLAINTS then they might find this. It might be an interesting use of a faceless and frankly useless organisation using the web to pick up customer feedback through web 2.0.

And partly because the receptionist at the Town Hall I turned up for a quite important meeting is an absolute star. I arrived 2 hours late, fuming, had missed my dinner, been half way round the country on various trains and buses, none of which ran to any sort of timetable. I had been taking deep breaths all the way to the main doors trying to calm down before I meet some clients; I spent a couple of minutes just saying what a rotten day I’d had so far; and she listened sympathetically, emphasised and made me laugh. What a great set of skills. And it made me realise that ‘front line staff’ are actually in many instances therapists as much as ‘customer services representatives’.